are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
