that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
