He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I look better un-naked...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
