I should be sponsored by Trojan
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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