Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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