if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize