Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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