remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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