Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize