I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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