Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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