I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
