yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
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I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
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Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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