The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize