How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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