I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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