can u get pink eye on your cock?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize