No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
