1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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