jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
