That's intense
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
