NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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