A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
