I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
