Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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