I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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