My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
