I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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