Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
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