Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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