I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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