Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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