my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
