So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I fill condoms, not promises.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
