Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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