It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
