my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
