i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
where am i from again
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize