We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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