all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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