new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
