i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My breasts were aching with rage.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
