Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
