She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
