Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
