Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
