too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
