I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize