I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I CAN MOONWALK!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
