I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
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I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
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You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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