I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
