I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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