white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
