Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
