My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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