Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
