there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
